Our second grandson was born two Sundays ago. His older brother, Ethan (a Hebrew name meaning strength, or some say, impetuous), was asked what he thought we should name him. He is three and half years old and he is full of ideas - impetuous, I suppose. He had a thought. "We shall call him. . . "
Before I get to that, it puts me in mind of others who have taken on the task of naming. There is Dorothy in the Nemo story who says of the jellyfish, "I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine." She didn't realize that while squishy he was not friendly and certainly would not be hers. Or there is Dr. Evil and his miniature alter-ego, of whom he said, "I shall call him mini-me." Then there is Adam naming Eve and all the animals. And, well, as I think about it, there is no end to this name calling. Everything we identify with a word or phrase has been named by someone who said, in essence, "I shall call you ____."
So, Ethan was following a well-worn tradition when he named his brother. He thought about what his relationship with him might look like. He thought about what his brother's personality might be like. He thought about what his potential in life might be. OK, maybe he didn't think of all those things. Maybe he just thought of the first thing that came to mind, which it turns out was not really a name, but it might be one that sort of sticks now. "I shall call him ... Tutti-Frutti." That's right - ah Rudy - he is named after a flavor of gum. The sibling rivalry has begun.
Well, their parents (Jordan and Haley Shurr) had other ideas. His "real" name is Toban O'Neal. O'Neal is Buff's (my wife's) mother's maiden name. Toban is from the Hebrew Tobias which means "God is good." I don't know if Jordan and Haley know that. Anyway, it is a really good name, a cut above Tutti - though the competition for what he will actually be called is on.
But I am thinking, as I reflect on all this, we are always naming people and things and even events. And our names often have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecies. If we call someone a loser, even if it is just in our own minds, do we help them become that? If we call the situation we are in a lost cause, do we help it to become that?
Jesus said to his disciples, "I no longer call you servants, I call you friends." God has called us his people. We are called Jesus' bride, the holy nation of priests, the temple of his Spirit. I know, I know, we often don't look like those things. But if God says that is what we are, I believe him. And that is what I will strive in the direction of.
How do you call it?
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Information Rich - Attention Poor
So, I had a conversation recently with some friends of mine, centering on the content of an article by Peter Nicholson written for the Globe and Mail. The author is making the case that as the speed with which we can access information goes up, and therefore, the amount of information available to us increases, the equal and opposite reaction is a lowering of the amount of time and attention we are willing to devote to any of the information we receive.
This explains a lot. Maybe I don't have ADD after all. The times I live in, the speed of life, the noise and news and avalanche of knowledge pouring into my little world are just overwhelming. And that's why I need to watch three or four shows at a time, with remote in hand, quickly dodging commercials (except the ones my buddy Tim sells - they are GREAT). I can't afford the time to watch one thirty-minute episode at a time - much less can I devote my full attention to it. I thought the reason I was flipping channels was because the shows were not good and therefore not keeping my attention. Now I know, I need more input - more data.
What this article also pointed out is that while we consume lots of info, because of the way we do it, none of it is at any real level of depth. I can't afford to be deep. There are things to read on FaceBook and news to watch and sports to catch up on and . . .
The author says all this leads to knowing more and more about less and less. He also suggests that while the increase in the flow of knowledge may be a great thing on one level that it portends danger on another - the danger of losing those who are truly experts at anything and currently form the pool of knowledge from which all these shallow streams flow.
But that is at a macro level and describes what we, as a society lose. What do I personally lose when I don't slow down and reflect and give time for facts to develop into thoughts and thoughts into ideas?
This explains a lot. Maybe I don't have ADD after all. The times I live in, the speed of life, the noise and news and avalanche of knowledge pouring into my little world are just overwhelming. And that's why I need to watch three or four shows at a time, with remote in hand, quickly dodging commercials (except the ones my buddy Tim sells - they are GREAT). I can't afford the time to watch one thirty-minute episode at a time - much less can I devote my full attention to it. I thought the reason I was flipping channels was because the shows were not good and therefore not keeping my attention. Now I know, I need more input - more data.
What this article also pointed out is that while we consume lots of info, because of the way we do it, none of it is at any real level of depth. I can't afford to be deep. There are things to read on FaceBook and news to watch and sports to catch up on and . . .
The author says all this leads to knowing more and more about less and less. He also suggests that while the increase in the flow of knowledge may be a great thing on one level that it portends danger on another - the danger of losing those who are truly experts at anything and currently form the pool of knowledge from which all these shallow streams flow.
But that is at a macro level and describes what we, as a society lose. What do I personally lose when I don't slow down and reflect and give time for facts to develop into thoughts and thoughts into ideas?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
I know, this is way early to start on Christmas themes, which is why I am not taking it on. But this IS the most wonderful time of the year, for - oh a bazillion reasons, here are a few:
- Football has started and we are beginning to see what our favorite pro and college teams are going to do
- It is the right temperature and humidity for outdoor activities - not too hot, not to cold
- Baseball is heating up - love watching the boys of October, especially if they are from Atlanta (almost made it happen this year)
- New TV Season
- Did I mention the temperature is right for golf?
- Bonfires
- Halloween candy allows us to indulge our dark sides
- Thanksgiving is around the corner
- Most significantly, it is a time of beginning again - School starts, and some people reconnect with their churches. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year is in September and is closely followed by Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. It is a time to start over.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Mastering the Art of Blogging About Eating
Sooooo, my wife, Buff and I went to see Julie and Julia. I know, I am at risk of losing my man card. But an occasional chick flick is required for marital harmony. It didn't kill me, anyway. And I learned some things. And we saw the Julia character and her husband in a park we had visited in Paris. And there were some funny scenes. And it didn't kill me.
Anyway, the premise of the story is that this 30 year old under-achiever decides she wants to grab the brass spatula and write a blog about cooking the recipes in Julia Child's famous cookbook, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking," taking a year to complete the project. Quite an undertaking for someone who had never completed a project in her life up until then. But she finished this one, and in the process learned how to become a more complete, loving, gracious, other-centered person.
It turns out it wasn't really about cooking or even eating. It wasn't even about blogging or, perhaps the biggest surprise of all, it wasn't about writing books. It was about relationships and about becoming people who experience life fully.
Well, OK, it was also about eating and cooking and writing. And one of the things that occurred to me is that there are millions of people out there blogging into the nethersphere. I don't think that's a word. Bloggers get to make up their own words anyway. Words like "bloggers."
I have a friend who has started a new website: www.bellydiving.com - it exists to celebrate the small, local restaurant. This is what they say about themselves:
We seek out the places where the owner is often working behind the grill serving up meals that are fueled by their passion and talent. Fresh, often seasonal food, in generous portions, served with love and enthusiasm.
Anyway, the premise of the story is that this 30 year old under-achiever decides she wants to grab the brass spatula and write a blog about cooking the recipes in Julia Child's famous cookbook, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking," taking a year to complete the project. Quite an undertaking for someone who had never completed a project in her life up until then. But she finished this one, and in the process learned how to become a more complete, loving, gracious, other-centered person.
It turns out it wasn't really about cooking or even eating. It wasn't even about blogging or, perhaps the biggest surprise of all, it wasn't about writing books. It was about relationships and about becoming people who experience life fully.
Well, OK, it was also about eating and cooking and writing. And one of the things that occurred to me is that there are millions of people out there blogging into the nethersphere. I don't think that's a word. Bloggers get to make up their own words anyway. Words like "bloggers."
I have a friend who has started a new website: www.bellydiving.com - it exists to celebrate the small, local restaurant. This is what they say about themselves:
We seek out the places where the owner is often working behind the grill serving up meals that are fueled by their passion and talent. Fresh, often seasonal food, in generous portions, served with love and enthusiasm.
We are about people. Behind every meal and every review on this site is a story. Along with reading the reviews, be sure to check the blog so you can read the "behind the scenes" stories about the good folks that we love.
They are simple activities that are probably never going to bring about world peace, although you never know. But when you consider that these are things that connect you somehow to other people - well, maybe they are all arts worth attempting, at least, to master.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
King of Pop Sent Off in Style
No doubt about it, Michael Jackson was the king of pop. Whatever standard you use to measure it, he is at the top of the charts: biggest selling album, video; largest audience, most awards. He was the king. If possible, he may be even bigger in death than in life. Such is the way of the artist gone too soon. There will never be another.
This king, like most, had his eccentricities, perhaps even flaws. Rumors of a dark side traveled the road he walked. But like most who are bigger than life, he was a complex mix of the humility, ego, grace, inelegance, genius, folly. Maybe it isn't only those who are bigger than life who find themselves mixed up.
So what kind of funeral is fit for a king? It would have to be public to ensure the inclusion of adoring citizens. It would have to be lavish, befitting his position. It would have to reflect the culture and tastes and style of the king and his family. Such was the celebration and memorial of King Michael.
It was emotional, engaging, even entertaining. It joined people to a person who seemed to long for the connection while of necessity being beyond reach. It was personal and poetic. It was musical and moving. It was hopeful and challenging. It was fitting.
Still, the primary thing we take away is that the king is gone. His music and videos will still inspire, but he himself can do no more. His time for making the world a better place is over. Just as it will be for all of us one day. We who are kings and queens of our own little universes are faced squarely with our mortality.
So there is one greater than us. It may be death that overcomes us. Or, it could be that we are subject to the King of all kings who has himself already overcome death. This is the most important royal decree any of us makes and we make it either intentionally or by default, but we cannot avoid declaring a King who is over us: the crypt or the Christ.
This king, like most, had his eccentricities, perhaps even flaws. Rumors of a dark side traveled the road he walked. But like most who are bigger than life, he was a complex mix of the humility, ego, grace, inelegance, genius, folly. Maybe it isn't only those who are bigger than life who find themselves mixed up.
So what kind of funeral is fit for a king? It would have to be public to ensure the inclusion of adoring citizens. It would have to be lavish, befitting his position. It would have to reflect the culture and tastes and style of the king and his family. Such was the celebration and memorial of King Michael.
It was emotional, engaging, even entertaining. It joined people to a person who seemed to long for the connection while of necessity being beyond reach. It was personal and poetic. It was musical and moving. It was hopeful and challenging. It was fitting.
Still, the primary thing we take away is that the king is gone. His music and videos will still inspire, but he himself can do no more. His time for making the world a better place is over. Just as it will be for all of us one day. We who are kings and queens of our own little universes are faced squarely with our mortality.
So there is one greater than us. It may be death that overcomes us. Or, it could be that we are subject to the King of all kings who has himself already overcome death. This is the most important royal decree any of us makes and we make it either intentionally or by default, but we cannot avoid declaring a King who is over us: the crypt or the Christ.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The Greatest Problem with Communication. . .
. . . they say, is the illusion that it has been achieved. The problem is evident on both sides of the communication process.
When we say something that somewhat corresponds to the thing we are thinking, we assume the person(s) we are speaking to have heard and understood. Of course, the first requirement for that to be true would be that they were really listening. The second would be that they somehow could get past their filters and hear what you mean instead of what they think you mean.
On the other side of the process, we think we have heard what someone has said because we heard the words, maybe we have even heard them speak on the subject before, so we anticipate what the message is going to be. We may have a history with the person and/or the subject that predisposes us to jump ahead and make assumptions about what they are going to say, or at least what their meaning and motivations are. Maybe we are so confident about our assessment that we begin to formulate our response to them before they even finish speaking.
We haven't heard them and we don't understand them. It's an illusion - like a magic trick - a sleight of mind.
The remedy? The only way to correct this problem is to slow down. The person who is listening actually has the greater responsibility in the communication process. He/she must listen actively and must stay with the questions until the person speaking feels understood. It is slow and cumbersome and not fun most of the time. But it is the only way that communication ends up being real and true.
When we say something that somewhat corresponds to the thing we are thinking, we assume the person(s) we are speaking to have heard and understood. Of course, the first requirement for that to be true would be that they were really listening. The second would be that they somehow could get past their filters and hear what you mean instead of what they think you mean.
On the other side of the process, we think we have heard what someone has said because we heard the words, maybe we have even heard them speak on the subject before, so we anticipate what the message is going to be. We may have a history with the person and/or the subject that predisposes us to jump ahead and make assumptions about what they are going to say, or at least what their meaning and motivations are. Maybe we are so confident about our assessment that we begin to formulate our response to them before they even finish speaking.
We haven't heard them and we don't understand them. It's an illusion - like a magic trick - a sleight of mind.
The remedy? The only way to correct this problem is to slow down. The person who is listening actually has the greater responsibility in the communication process. He/she must listen actively and must stay with the questions until the person speaking feels understood. It is slow and cumbersome and not fun most of the time. But it is the only way that communication ends up being real and true.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Cramming Toward Vacation
I have always been a crammer. I am driven by deadlines. Maybe I am a procrastinator. I rather think I work best under pressure. My creative juices churn and bubble.
So, it is no wonder that vacations always find me cramming. I cram last minute details in the office - away messages on the phone (and I almost forgot email). Stop mail delivery. Get assignments finished and turned in. Leave instructions as to what to do in my absence. Select books to take. I try to keep it down to 6-8 per week. I will read 5-6 of them in a week - because I am cramming in as much as I can.
Then cram stuff in the suitcase. When traveling to another country, cram language enough that I can get around. Donde esta el bano? You know, important stuff. . .
This is what I do, I am a crammer. I fit as much in as I can squeeze. Although, I am not cramming in everything. I am not cramming in silence. That gets squeezed out, more often. I am not cramming in peace of mind or quiet pace of life.
I may be trying to cram in relationships with the most important people in my life, but if I am cramming them in, can I really have relationship at all? Relationships are demanding things - not the people themselves, necessarily, but relationships, if you are to have them at all demand something. And one of the primary things they demand is that you cannot cram them in among the myriads of other things you are trying to cram into your bag.
So, I am still cramming in more books than I should. But I am slowing down this weekend and just living with the people in my life - no agenda - no time frame - no cramming.
So, it is no wonder that vacations always find me cramming. I cram last minute details in the office - away messages on the phone (and I almost forgot email). Stop mail delivery. Get assignments finished and turned in. Leave instructions as to what to do in my absence. Select books to take. I try to keep it down to 6-8 per week. I will read 5-6 of them in a week - because I am cramming in as much as I can.
Then cram stuff in the suitcase. When traveling to another country, cram language enough that I can get around. Donde esta el bano? You know, important stuff. . .
This is what I do, I am a crammer. I fit as much in as I can squeeze. Although, I am not cramming in everything. I am not cramming in silence. That gets squeezed out, more often. I am not cramming in peace of mind or quiet pace of life.
I may be trying to cram in relationships with the most important people in my life, but if I am cramming them in, can I really have relationship at all? Relationships are demanding things - not the people themselves, necessarily, but relationships, if you are to have them at all demand something. And one of the primary things they demand is that you cannot cram them in among the myriads of other things you are trying to cram into your bag.
So, I am still cramming in more books than I should. But I am slowing down this weekend and just living with the people in my life - no agenda - no time frame - no cramming.
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